How do we view marriage? Do we look at it as only a romantic wedding day that happens once, leading to “happily ever after?” Or do we look at it as one of the best ways to honor God in a life already surrendered to Him?

I remember praying for a godly wife. But sometimes I was more focused on getting married than with serving God with my life, and seeing marriage as wonderful piece of that picture.

Today, I’m going to try to answer the question posed in the post title in a bit different of a way than you may have heard. We’ll look at four important questions to ask oneself.

1. Why Do You Want to Get Married?

The desire to be married is not sinful; it’s natural and God-given. After all, the first thing that God called not good was for “the man to be alone” (Genesis 2:18). As my father-in-law joked at our wedding, “Even before the fall, God knew we needed women!” And he was absolutely right! 🙂

Marriage is a wonderful gift, designed to reflect the wondrous relationship between Christ and the Church. The problem comes when we look at it with the lens of the world, telling ourselves that marriage is all about happiness.

In reality, happiness is the by-product of a God-honoring marriage and life, not the purpose of it. And the happiest place to be is in the will of God, whether you’re married or not. Although marriage done God’s way does bring incredible joy.

An older friend of once mine once observed, “Two people should get married when they realize that together they can do more for Christ than apart.” So is marriage about us, or is it about pleasing God?

2. How Are Your Family Relationships?

Some think, “I can’t wait to get married or move out so I can get away from family relationships that I don’t want to work out!” They mistakenly imagine that being married automatically transforms both them and their spouse into angels of grace!

When we think like that, we miss the point. First of all, being married does not change one’s relationship skills overnight. Second, and more importantly, God gave you your family in order to prepare you for marriage and life relationships! The reality is, your spouse will be just as much as sinner as your sibling, or as you.

In your own family today, you’re building the type of husband, wife, father, or mother you’ll be someday. And learning to love your family is one of the best ways to realize if you’re selfish or selfless. Will you wait to learn how to resolve conflict? Or will you utilize the amazing relationship training ground God has given you?

3. How Is Your Personal Character?

Contrary to the world’s perception, the most important thing in preparing for marriage is not cultivating an engaging persona. If we’re not careful, we can spend more time looking at the bathroom mirror than at the mirror of our heart. It takes courage to humbly ask, “Search me O God” (Psalm 139:23).

I remember, as a teenager, when it hit me that I was too focused on finding the right one over being the right one. I prayed over a list of qualities for my future wife (BTW, she far surpassed it!), but I realized I didn’t have a list for myself.

Character is built over the years, not overnight. Today is the time to grow and develop the character qualities and disciplines of a surrendered Christian.

Do we all pray and persevere to grow into the person God wants us to be? May this be our cry, not just for marriage, but for all of life.

4. Are You Building Your Practical Skill Toolkit?

One of the dictionary synonyms for “parent” should be “jack of all trades.” Here’s why: Before marriage, I had no idea that being married included being a mechanic, financial wizard, and on-demand professional story reader! 🙂

Today is the best and easiest time to learn the practical skills needed for raising a family, skills that will serve you well in life. God’s children should be versatile, “prepared unto every good work” (2 Timothy 2:21), ready to serve God wherever He places them.

If you’re a young man, you’re responsible to provide for your house! (I Timothy 5:8). This requires knowing not only how to make money, but also how to manage it. Are you practicing work ethic and mastering marketable skills?

And young ladies, you’re not off the hook either, because God designed you to support your husband in his life work.

Why Bother?

Whether or not you get married, preparation is never wasted. Intentional preparation will serve you well in whatever God has for you to do.

Our culture wants the pleasures of marriage without the responsibility. They want a harvest of righteousness without the discipline that precipitates it. That’s impossible.

In the end, it is the purposeful preparation that allows marriage to far surpass your grandest dreams.

How serious are you about preparing for godly marriage? The bigger question is, how serious are you about serving God with your life? The way you are investing your life today is the answer to those questions.