Six Reasons to Become a Better Listener

About two years ago, I worked with a construction crew for three months. Between traveling and farming, I wanted to better understand this skill that I believed would benefit me the rest of my life. On the job, I learned much more than framing; I discovered the value of effective workplace communication.

One spring day, I was given an assignment to cut around fifteen 2×6 framing boards to specified lengths. After receiving the order, I diligently began cutting 2×4 framing studs. I only realized my error after my cuts were completed. Not only did my mistake cost valuable time and lumber, it also revealed my need to more attentively listen.

According to Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary, listening means “to pay attention to sound,” “hear something with thoughtful attention,” “give consideration,” and “be alert.” Listening is not a passive exercise. It requires diligence, discipline, focus, energy, and attentiveness. Unfortunately, most of us listen with only 25% efficiency.

From parents, to employees, to politicians, to public speakers, to teachers, everyone needs to cultivate the lost art of listening. In fact, there are six Biblical reasons why we should listen well.

1. Imitation

God is an attentive listener. Psalm 34:15 states, “The eyes of the Lord are upon the righteous, and His ears are open unto their cry.” Psalm 116:1-2 says, “He hath inclined His ear unto me…”

In Jeremiah 33:3, God promises “Call unto me and I will answer thee.” I John 5:14 says, “And this is the confidence we have in Him, that if we ask anything according to His will, He heareth us.”

Because we are made in God’s image, we are to be “imitators” of Him (Ephesians 5:1). Just as God attentively listens, so we should strive to attentively listen as well.

2. Salvation

No one can become born again until they listen to God’s Word. As Romans 10:17 says, “So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the Word of God.” Sinners must listen to the gospel before they can realize their desperate need for the Savior and turn to Him in repentence and faith (Acts 20:21).

In Acts 8, the Ethiopian eunuch asked Phillip to explain to him Isaiah 53. He then listened as Phillip expounded the gospel. After the Ethiopian understood, he believed and was baptized.

3. Obedience

Listening is a vital skill the Christian must cultivate in order to follow God. Just as we obey the gospel, so we are to obey God’s Word as it applies to our lives. D.L. Moody noted, “The Bible was not given for our information, but for our transformation.”

The entire purpose of studying and loving God’s Word is so that we can know God and live out His truth. Christ said, “Blessed are they that hear the Word of God, and keep it” (Luke 11:28). James 1:22 exhorts, “But be ye doers of the Word, and not hearers only.”

As Israel’s first king, Saul failed to listen with an obedient ear, setting a terrible example for those to follow. He knew God’s Word, but refused to obey it. Likewise, as recounted in Psalm 81:11, the nation of Israel refused to listen. “But my people would not hearken unto my voice and Israel would none of me.”

God warned the priests in Malachi 2:2, “If ye will not hear… I will lay a curse upon you.” God desires to speak to every one of us. If we obediently listen, He promises to bless our lives. If we reject His Word in favor of our own designs, He will send inevitably chastise us.

Revelation 2:7 says, “He that hath an ear, let him hear what the Spirit saith unto the churches.” Revelation 3:20 proclaims, “Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me.”

4. Wisdom

While God often teaches us wisdom through others, we must exercise humility in order to receive it. A proud man, Rehoboam listened to the counsel of his peers while forsaking the wise counsel of those older than him.

Likewise, King Zedekiah rejected Jeremiah’s God-sent counsel to surrender himself to the Chaldean besiegers. His motivation was fear of man. After the city was taken, Zedekiah vainly attempted flight, but was overtaken in the plains of Jericho. Before his eyes were gouged out, he helplessly watched as his own sons were mercilessly slain before him. For the rest of his life, this last sight would forever be seared in his mind as a reminder of the consequences of rejecting wisdom.

Proverbs reminds us that we gain wisdom, not when we speak, but when we listen. Proverbs 12:15 says, “The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but he that hearkeneth unto counsel is wise.” Proverbs 1:5 notes, “A wise man will hear, and will increase in learning, and a man of understanding shall attain unto wise counsels.” Proverbs 10:19 states, “In the multitude of words there wanteth not sin, but he that refraineth his lips is wise.” Proverbs 17:27 says, “He that hath knowledge spareth his words, and a man of understanding is of an excellent spirit.”

5. Parental Instruction

Proverbs is full of parental admonitions to children. “My son, attend unto my wisdom, and bow thine ear to my understanding” (Proverbs 5:1). “My son, if thou wilt receive my words, and hide my commandments with thee” (Proverbs 2:1-2). “My son, keep thy father’s commandment, and forsake not the law of thy mother” (Proverbs 6:20).

Ironically, the man who penned these injunctions eventually forsook his own counsel and the counsel of his father (I Kings 2:1-4). Solomon did not lack knowledge; he lacked obedience.

Parents are commanded to teach their children (Deuteronomy 6:6-7), while children are commanded to listen to and obey their parent’s instruction. Ephesians 6:1-2 states, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor thy father and they mother…”

6. Christian Love

John Maxwell once said, “No one cares how much you know until they know how much you care.” Bryan H. McGill noted, “One of the most sincere forms of respect is actually listening to something someone has to say.”

Recently, Cassidy and I met an 81-year-old man who had lost his wife five years ago. We soon realized that the best way to encourage him was not to give comforting words but to simply listen to his heart. He kindly shared with Cassidy and I some valuable keys to a Christ-honoring marriage. We left the conversation grateful not only for his wisdom, but also for the opportunity to love through our ears.

We often mistakenly think the best communicators are those with the “gift of gab.” In reality, no one can truly be a good communicator without good listening skills.

Truly, listening is one of the greatest ways to love another individual. When we listen only to those we enjoy associating with, we engage in the unbiblical practice of respecting persons (James 2). To a watching world, genuine listening communicates this message: “I love you, Christ loves you.”

Becoming Skilled Listeners

The Bible clearly describes the importance of the often neglected communication skill called listening. Ecclesiastes 3:7 reminds us that there is “A time to keep silence, and a time to speak.” Like everything else worthwhile in life, listening skills requires effort and focused discipline. Frankly, listening skills are difficult to cultivate because most of us find it easier to talk than to listen.

You may be asking, “What can I do today to become a better listener?” Come back next Tuesday as we uncover “Five Ways to Hone Your Listening Skills.”

Question: Why is attentive listening so hard? Why do we often neglect to cultivate good listening habits?